by Rukhsana Hossain
My heritage is Indian (Calcutta, Lucknow, Kashmir), I was born in present day Bangladesh and raised in Pakistan, UAE and Canada, so the concept of national identity and patriotism are a little troublesome for me. My "native" language and culture also claim no sense of belonging.
The only real sense of belonging I had was to a Muslim culture which has also become convoluted, undefined and plagued with questions that I don't think will ever be answered fully.
The only patriotism I am left with is to my personal ideals which in the end are defining my identity.
I wonder if this lack of national identity/sense of patriotism places me at an advantage or disadvantage?
Nations are built on ideals. Personal ideals which resonate (or are made to resonate) with the masses. I look at the history of Pakistan with such sorrow. The fate of this nation! It was built on such lofty ideals of fairness, justice and freedom but the nation and it's people have been plagued with deception from the start. Jinnah and Liaquat Ali Khan had lofty dreams, not for a free Muslim state but for a state in which Muslims could be free and have civil liberties which they were denied as part of India; but look at it now... the Islamic Repulic of Pakistan! Pakistan has always been at war.
My father's family moved to Karachi from India. As a child and adolescent I used to visit Karachi often. To me, Karachi and my family/social life there was "Pakistan". I visited Pakistan last week after 12 years. This time I saw a very different picture. I had no comfort of family around me, I was visiting as a foreigner and I felt like a foreigner. I just could not identify. Interacting with people in places like Hyderabad and Sukkur, then coming back to the assumed comfort of the Marriot in Karachi and watching TV shows like "Style 360" I felt angry. I realized that I have never known Pakistan, only filtered aspects of Pakistan. Having the veil removed not only made me uncomfortable but angry. The people of Pakistan deserve better. They don't deserve to be raped by their own leaders year after year, decade after decade. I felt angry and helpless.
I wonder if Jinnah and Liaquat Ali Khan had some time to actually work on what they started perhaps the fate of Pakistan would have been different? I wonder if Pakistan had never been created would the Muslims in India have eventually found a voice that mattered? Could Satyagraha have prevailed? But how could it have?
I wonder if Jinnah had accepted Mountbatten's offer and lobbied for a unified India instead of advancing the cause of a separate state... would it have been of any real advantage for the Muslims? Even if he was to be appointed prime minister, would it have really mattered? Perhaps the next move would be to expel the Muslims... they were successful in expelling the British... but the British had England to go back to. I suppose it doesnt even matter for they are no better off now. Muslims and Hindus clashing vs Muslims and Muslims clashing. The bloodshed still ensues and reeks.
I don't know why I'm getting passionate about this now. Perhaps it’s because I can't get certain images out of my head since my return from Pakistan. Images of the rigger who still needed an ink pad to put his thumb print on a contract because he was illiterate, the wadera in Sukkur who sent over his armed guards to inquire what business we had there, the 5 security check points I had to go through every day before I could enter my hotel in Karachi, the MTV and Style 360 channels on TV, the 7 year old amputated girl who begged for money...
The world is a sad place. But I'm glad that no mater how many times I hit terra frima (skid marks et all), I will always dust off my rose-tinted Lennons and put them back on with hope of a better day.
